Anurag Yagnik

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Excerpt from 'Scoop'

I am reading this book called 'Scoop', a brilliant satire by Evelyn Waugh about a newspaper that sends a garden reporter William Boot as a war correspondent to an imaginary war torn country called Ishmaelia. Following is a small excerpt where The Foreign editor tries to explain the situation in Ishmaelia.


'Well, there is one thing. I don't read the papers very much. Can you tell me who is fighting who in Ishmaelai?', asked Boot.

'I think it is the Patriots and the Traitors', said the editor.

'Yes but which is which?', said Boot.

'Oh, I dont know that. That's policy, you see. It has nothing to do with me. You should have asked the management that.', informed the editor. He continued...

'I gather it's between the Reds and the Blacks. Yes, but it is not quite as easy as that. You see, they are all Negroes. And the Fascists wouldnt be called black because of their racia pride, so they are called White after the White Russians. And the Bolshevists want to be called Black because of their racial pride. So when you say Balck, you mean Red and when you mean Red, you say white. And when the party who call themselves blacks say Traitors they mean what we call blacks, but what we mean when we say Traitors, I really couldn't tell you. But from your point of view, it will be quite simple. Management only want Patriot victories and both sides call themselves Patriots and of course both sides will claim all the victories. But ofcourse its really a war between Russia and Germany and Italy and Japan who are all against one another on the Patriotic side. I hope I make myself plain?'

'Up to a point', said Boot, falling easily into the habit.